Same bed, but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio, but it don't sound the same
Her.
Laying on my bed, looking at the ceiling. It's on these times that I remember how we used to lay right here and talk. We'd talk about our day, tell jokes...
But now...
The bed seemed colder, and bigger.
Empty.
I loved her smile when we walked off to the balcony and looked at the stars. Sometimes, a cold wind breezed, and I used that as excuse to put my arm around her.
I'm getting tired of memories. I need anything to distract me. I need music. Now.
I look at my nightstand, and turn my stereo on. Her song was on the radio.
OUR song was on the radio.
She used to sing it. I loved her voice. It was so... Magic.
But she moved on.
And I'll never hear that magic again.
When our friends talk about you,
All that it does is just tear me down
It was about the middle of the summer and we had just got done with filming "Austin and Ally" season 2.
"Yeah let's celebrate..." Laura smiled. Everytime she smiled. It lit me up.
"Sure babe sounds good"
Everyday we got done filming, the four of us, Raini, Calum, Laura and I would go to the beach. It was sad to think this might be our last time doing it.
I'm not sure if I will be back for another season. I wasn't going to tell them that though. It was my little secret. I wanted to pursue music and music only. The next R5 tour kicked off in less than a month and I wanted to take it seriously. It was time to forget about Disney.
All of that was a lot to worry about right now.. I jut wanted to be with Laura right now.
We were laying there on the beach as the sun was going down. Raini and Calum were off doing something else. It was just Laura and I. As I was looking at the sunset I thought about how much I cared about her... And how she is going to be crushed if I leave the show...
"Ross..."
"Yeah" I looked over at her.
"I... Just never want this to end..." She smiled.
"It won't... I promise" I smiled looking at the girl of my dreams, and she was all mine.
"I'm happy that we will be on the show together for a few more years..." She smiled...
I smiled back remembering that it might not happen...
I grabbed her hand and kissed her cheek. "I love you Laura."
"I love you too Ross" she blushed.
"Ross hello? Earth to Ross?!" I was suddenly awaked from my daze by Raini's voice
"Yeah sorry, I was just thinking about things."
"She's happy Ross... You need to move on..."
Yeah... Back on the beach, with the cast, those were the good days... When she was mine.
Now...
Now she's gone...
'Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name
It all just sounds like ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
I stared down at the table as everyone talks to each other.
The table was made of a deep brown wood, and it reminded me of her gorgeous doe-like eyes.
I felt a hand land on my shoulder and I jumped, looked up to see Rydel staring at me with a strange expression. "Are you coming?"
I looked around and realised every was stood up, waiting for me so we can leave. I stood up and everyone walked out.
When stepped outside a group of about 10 girls ran over and starting screaming.
As we signed some things for them, one of them said, "You know Ross, I think I would be a much better 'friend' than Laura."
I felt an indescribable pain build up in my chest as I heard her name and anger rushed through me as I glared at the girl for using Laura's name with disgust.
Dropping the disc I had been signing I stepped forward, crushing it with my foot before pushing past them and storming into the bus.
I rolled into the bunk and closed, feeling the tears begin to roll down my cheeks as her face flashed before my eyes.
Too young, to dumb to realize
That I should've bought you flowers
And held your hand
I don't know why I gave her up for fame and Maia, Maia isn't even my type!
I was caught up in the moment and hurt Laura terribly.
"Hey Ross! Who are those flowers for?!" Laura blushed
I ignored her, I was to busy looking for Maia to give her flowers and tell her how I feel. I spotted her!
"Not now Laur!" I went over to Maia and gave her the flowers. I kissed her. And held her hand... As we were walking away I looked back at Laura, she had a shattered look.
"DUMB, DUMB ROSS YOU ARE SO DUMB!" I hit the walk of the tour bus... And started crying...
"Ross! What's going on?!" I looked over, it was Riker... I thought I was alone...
"Riker, I... I should've picked her"
"I know... It's okay" He pulled me in and hugged me...
I pushed away. "NO it's not okay Riker!"
I ran out of the bus and started walking. "Ross it's night time! Where are you going?!"
I heard Riker yell after me. I ignored him and just kept walking... He followed... So I ran...
Finally I got away from him... I hate myself... I hate myself so fucking much!
I pulled out a bottle of vodka I stole from my dad's cabinet and downed half of it...
Why not right?! It eased the pain...
Should have give you all my hours
When I had the chance
I stared at the plain white ceiling, wide awake.
How could've I have been so stupid? I sat up straight and grabbed my phone.
I know she's probably sleeping but I...
I just need to hear her voice.
"Hey! It's Laura! Sorry I couldn't pick up. Leave a message and I'll call you back! Love you!" Her voice was full of joy and quirkiness. I smiled, but that quickly faltered as I opened my mouth to speak.
"H-Hey, Laura. It's...it's um...Ross. But you probably knew that. So um, I was wondering if...if you wanted to hang out later? I mean, later in the day. Not at 3 in the morning. So yeah, call me back." I ended the call and let out a big sigh.
"Hey Ross! It's Laura!" She had called me.
"Oh hey! What's up?" I replied.
"You want to hang out today?" Laura chirped.
"Oh...uh...sorry Laur, I can't." I answered.
"Oh, well okay. I'll just ask Raini. Maybe next time." She suggested.
"Yeah, totally."
And with that we hung up.
But there was never a next time. Every time she called, I'd always turn her down. Half of the time, I made excuses because I didn't feel like hanging out. Sure I felt guilty about it, but I figured she wouldn't mind. She's Laura after all.
Turned out that the guilt built up inside me and now...I can't stop thinking about her. I just want to hang out with her. I miss her. She probably hates me right now.
I got a text! It's from Laura! I quickly opened it up. *Hey! I got your call. Really? 3AM?!* I laughed to myself. *anyways, I can't hang out for a while. Pretty busy. Sorry. -Laura x* Okay. Now I know what it feels like. Dammit.
Take you to every party
'Cuz all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby's dancing
But she's dancing with another man
My phone rang and I glanced down at the screen before picking it up.
"Hey Laura."
"Hi Ross. Tonight is Sasha's party remember! I was wondering what time you were coming to pick me up."
I sighed, I was honestly not in the mood to party, "Sorry Laura, I'm not going anymore." .
There was a slight pause, "Oh okay, I'll um, ask Raini for a lift." She ended the call and I went back to playing guitar.
"Hey Ross. Do you want to dance?"
I looked at the huge amount of press, filming and taking pictures of the annual Disney charity ball. If I danced with Laura it would really get much attention but seeing as I was doing a movie with Maia, it would make more sense to dance with her. "Sorry Laura, I promised Maia I would dance," I lied before getting up and walking off, leaving her sitting alone at the side.
It was a year since then and that night I had made a huge mistake. As I watched Laura dancing with someone else, my heart split down the middle right in two. I grabbed a shot of vodka, downing it in one as he twirled her and she laughed again. I grabbed another shot and downed it before getting up and walking out.
For once, I couldn't care less about the press. If only that was before, when it shouldn't of mattered. I climbed into my car as images of Laura and her new friend flashed before my eyes. I slammed my foot down on the pedal and the car shot forward. The roads were practically deserted. I hated myself for doing what I did to Laura, I should have treated her correctly, I should have been there for her but I wasn't. I wasn't and now I had lost her, lost her to someone who was one hundred times better for her because he would treat her right. I swerved to avoid a tree as an excruciating pain flared up in my chest. My foot slammed down on the brakes and the car skidded to a halt. The image of the guy and Laura flashed before my eyes and my hands clutched the steering wheel as sobs ripped their way out of my chest.
My pride, my ego
My needs and my selfish ways,
Caused a good strong woman like you,
To walk out of my life
I was getting a lot from Teen Beach Movie and the LOUD tour. I hadn't seen Laura for quite some time... We talked every once and a while when she called but I didn't pay any attention to her. At the time my focus was on Maia Mitchell.
"Hey Ross!" I turned to see Laura, she looked good, but not as good as Maia did.
"Oh. What's up Laura" I could see the disappointment on her face as my reaction was not very enthusiastic.
"I haven't seen you in months! Are you and Stormie going to sit by us?"
"Whoa calm down there" I said in my cocky tone, "I should probably sit by Maia, I'm presenting with her remember?"
Her eyes were full of disappointment, "Oh yeah, well maybe we can hang out before you go back to the loud tour, I really miss you"
I put my sunglasses on not really paying attention, "Um yeah probably not, I've been really busy but you look great Laura! I guess I'll see you later, or maybe not.." I walked away leaving her there like a sad puppy.
I didn't care at the time, all I cared about was fame and Maia. I don't know what got into me... Because now... I would do anything to have her back in my life...
She was the most beautiful and smart girl...
And she deserved better than me, and she had finally realized that...
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made
And it hurts me every time I close my eyes
It all just sounds like ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Why? Why? Why? Why'd I do that to Laura? To Raini or Calum? I should've stayed on Austin and Ally. But the thing is I could fix that but what I did to Laura was much worse.
"Ross! Do you know how much you mean to me?" Laura asked me.
"No! But I'll find out," I answered her.
"You mean the WORLD to me! I never wanna loose you," she replied.
I was about to reply when Rocky texted me. *Hurry and tell her so we can leave for tour* the text read.
"Laura I'm.. I'm leaving Austin and Ally" I stuttered.
"Yeah I know but your coming back Austin's not going to be on tour forever," she told me.
"No I'm leaving Austin and Ally forever I'm not coming back-" I started.
"Ross why are you such a jerk? I just told you something that I really didn't want to but it's how I feel! Now your gonna just run off and leave! Don't come back when your little band thing fails!" She cut me off.
"Laura you obviously don't want me to be happy! I want to be able to go on longer tours but I cant because I have to shoot the show! This way we can! If you want me to be happy you'd back off!" I yelled. Laura ran away crying.
Laura's never gonna forgive me for that even if I do go back to Austin and Ally. Great! I'm never gonna get myself out of this. I can't even close my eyes at night without thinking of what I did.
Too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
I never noticed the expression on her face. The heartbroken expression that was now carried by me. I looked down at the white tulip in my hand and my eyes closed as my hand crushed it, leaning my head against the wall as I remembered her gorgeous face. I should have given her it while she was still mine.
We were at a Disney ball. People were dancing, talking, drinking and laughing as music played.
"Hey Ross," I turned to see Laura walking toward me followed by Maia and the press
"Hey guys." Laura reached out to hold my hand but I acted like I didn't see, turning to Maia as the press walked around filming.
"Hey Maia, wanna dance?" As I walked over to the centre of the dance floor with Maia's hand in mine as all the camera's focused on us.
It was a mistake. One of the biggest mistakes of my life. I was foolish, young and blinded by fame. I opened my eyes and stared down at the crushed tulip. The wind blew them away and I stared into the empty palm of my hand.
"I should of held your hand, Laura," I whispered, tears began to fall again,
"It should have been you."
Should have gave you all my hours when I had the chance
"What?" I asked.
"She bought Safe Haven on DVD! Come watch it with me!" She answered.
"Ross! Ross! Ross! Ross!" Laura screamed.
"What? What? What? What?" I asked.
"Will you please please pretty pretty please take me to go watch Safe Haven?" Laura answered.
"No! I don't want to go watch that movie! Get Raini or Rydel to go see it with you," I replied.
"But I wanna see it with you," she protested.
"But I don't wanna see it," I argued.
"Fine!" She gave up.
I wish I could still go watch movies with her. I should have watched that one.
"Hello? Ross! Answer me!" Rydel yelled snapping me out of my thoughts. "I don't really wanna watch it," I replied. "Okay whatever," she told me and walked out.
Even the thought of any movie or anything reminds me of Laura and it kills me. Why didn't I do stuff with her? She asked me to do tons of stuff and I've said no.
"Ross! Y'all rocked it tonight," Laura beamed.
"Thanks," I replied.
"You wanna go celebrate?" Laura asked me.
"No, I'm really tired," I answered.
"Oh okay bye," she said and left.
Why couldn't I say yes while I had the chance to? Now I may never see her again much less hang out with her. Laura's gone forever there's no doubt about it. She probably hates me! I can't stop thinking about her though.
Take you to every party
'Cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing,
But she's dancing with another man.
"Guys will you just leave us alone? We need to get inside!" Raini politely told the paparazzi.
Laura, Raini, Calum and I wove our way inside the building for Maia's birthday party. Unfortunately, they wouldn't listen. They followed us into the club along with other guests. I saw people from Teen Beach, but most were unfamiliar. "Ross! Laura! Raini! Calum!" An Australian accented voice bellowed. We all turned and saw Maia.
She looked amazing. I mean, Laura and Raini did as well, but since it was her birthday, Maia looked exceptionally stunning. "So glad you all could make it!"
"We wouldn't miss it!" Laura smiled. Maia gratefully returned one. She showed us to a table where we could place our, well Raini and Laura's things down.
So far the night has been going great! The music was amazing. The food so good! The only downside... again the paparazzi.
"Hey Ross! Let's go dance!" Laura pleaded. I got up, but quickly saw a guy with a camera.
"Sorry, Laur. I'm gonna go dance with Maia." I said instead, leaving her confused and hurt.
"Oh. Ok-" I left before she finished. I grabbed Maia's hand and twirled her around and she giggled.
Why didn't I take the chance to dance with her? Why? God, I am such an idiot. Now I'm here. Staring at my phone, wondering why I let her just slip right out of my hands. I had her, but I was stupid enough to not hold on to her while I had the chance. She's going to prom. With someone else. Someone else is going to dance with her.
And that someone isn't me.
Although it hurts
I'll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
I broke every single promise I made her.
I broke her heart.
It shouldn't be like this. I could have changed that.
But no.
I needed to be a jerk and care more about publicity. I'd do anything to tell her I'm sorry. I'd do anything to make her happy again. I'd do absolutely anything to turn back the time. But I can't do any of these. Now she won't answer my calls anymore.
Why would she, anyway? I don't deserve to be listened to.
I was wrong. Fame would never come first, but it got out of my control. I thought she would come back and forgive me all the times. I cared so much about myself, that I forgot to care about her.
I looked at myself in the mirror. It disgusts me what I became.
"WHY DO YOU NEED TO BE SO STUPID?!" I yelled.
I was so mad at myself. I punched it with all the force I could, feeling my hand bleed, and seeing the shattered glass.
Shattered. That's how I felt...
And how I made her feel.
But I just want you to know,
I hope he buys you flowers,
I hope he holds your hand,
Gives you all his hours when he has the chance
Take you to every party cause I remember how much you loved to dance,
Do all the things I should've done when I was your man,
Do all the things I should've done
When I was your man.
Thinking about all these moments with Laura all the time and how much I regret everything!
I wish I just wish I could take it all back! I know I can't, and what hurts the most was she loved me with every last bit of her heart and I broke it! Now, now I don't even know where I am walking.
I'm torn, I can't get rid of the memories! I have a bottle of unopened vodka in my hand...
It seems like it's the only thing to numb the pain. My family, my fans, everyone would be so disappointed, but I wasn't around them right now, I was in the middle of nowhere and needed to get rid of the pain...
I brought the bottle to my mouth and took a drink... Then the pain shot through me again along with the looks on my brothers, parents and sister's face if they knew what I was doing...
Laura... Laura would want you to stop, I told myself... The anger and sadness were all building up..
CRASH! I chucked the bottle on the ground... I started crying and kept walking... It was cold and I didn't care, my skinny jeans were dirty, I still didn't care... I needed her, I can't believe I let her go, I have disappointed everyone.
"You are so... STUPID!" I told myself as I kicked a rock. The tears were still rolling out of my eyes. I have never felt so terrible. I needed to tell her that I loved her! I needed to tell her sorry! I needed to kiss her! I needed to tell her I'm the best for her!
I kept walking and my pace got faster, all of a sudden I came upon a building, it was lit up and music was coming out... Tonight...
Tonight was Laura's prom, I think that's where It was! I could get her back!
I went into the building hiding around things and sneaking in through the teachers. I walked past everyone until I saw it. Her hair was curled and looked absolutely stunning, her makeup was light and brought out her natural beauty...
Her arms... They were wrapped around his shoulders... Her waist, it was wrapped in his arms... And her smile... It was bright... The brightest I've ever seen it... I realized the boy was Cody, Elliot from season 2, and she, she used to look at me like that... I haven't seen that smile on her face for a while, the last time I saw her, she was torn... And that smile was broken... Because of me...
He was right for her... She deserved him... He treated her better than me and she's happy... I'm...
I'm too Late...
I walked outside again.
I couldn't really handle seeing her with Cody.
I wanted her happy, yea, but it hurt too much to see her with another guy.
Well, only if it was easy, as the movies. Just go and get her back, sing a song for her or someth-
That's it!
I rushed inside, and sneaked until I reached the DJ. There was a blonde, tall girl behind the mixing table. "Hey, can I ask you something?"
"I'm sorry, the track list is-" she looked up and her eyes widened "Oh. My. God. YOU ARE ROSS LYNCH!"
I smiled "Yes I am. Can you do me the favor?"
"Yes! Anything!"
"Okay, I need to perform a song for someone. Could you stop the music?"
"Yes, you just have to wait for this one to end, and you can go on stage. There is a guitar up there. You can go backstage, it's that first door over there" she pointed at it
"Okay" I turned away, ready to go
"Hey Ross!" She said
"Yea?" I turned back
"Laura will love it."
I gave her a smile and walked up to the door. I don't even want to know how she knew it was Laura. I just needed to perform. The song that was playing stopped and the lights went off. It was time to go on stage. I ran up to the mic with the guitar, and a spotlight lit up on me.
"Laura Marano?"
Everyone opened the way and stared at her.
She was definitely stunning.
I don't care if she don't accept me back, I don't deserve it. But I just wanted her to listen to me.
I slowly started strumming the guitar strings.
"Same bed, but it feels just a little bigger now... Our song in the radio doesn't sound the same..."
And the words left my mouth, as I saw her in shock. I don't know from where they came from. It is all I've been feeling lately, I guess.
"Too young, too dumb, to realize, that I should have bought you flowers"
I looked straight in her eyes. I could tell she was trying to not cry. Cody was at her side, looking at her.
All she did was stand there.
"And I know I'm probably much too late, to go and apologize for my mistakes"
She looked confused. I don't really know from where this idea came from. What if she starts hating me even more? Well, she has all the rights to do it, right?
"Do all the things I should've done when I was your man"
I finished the song, and silence filled the room for a moment.
"Laura, you don't have to apologize me for what I did. I was a stupid jerk that cared just about fame and didn't see that the girl I looked for all my life was right in front of me. I should have cared more.
As I saw her with no reaction, I walked off stage and the music started blasting again. I walked outside, and it started to rain.
A storm, actually.
She must be so mad at me. But at least she heard what I had to say.
"Ross!"
I remember her voice. It's like she's calling me.
"Ross!"
Wait.
I turned around, just to see Laura running after me under the storm. God, why does she needed to be so perfect?
She came closer.
"Laura I'm so sorry."
She didn't answer. She just threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tight.
"I could stay like this forever" she said "Well, I couldn't."
She backed off from the hug, with her arms still around my neck, confused.
I looked in her eyes and kissed her.
I don't care how cliché it is to kiss in the rain.
It was perfect.
And right now I could stay like this forever.
